The iSlate Will Be Announced In

November 19, 2007

Steve Jobs Accepts New Title

Apparently, CEO of Apple and #1 Salesman of the millennium (to date) aren't enough titles for wunderkind Steve Jobs. Just yesterday, the clever snoops at realized old Stevie has been bucking for a promotion and he finally got it.

His new official title is, CEO, #1 Salesman and Big Brother.

Along with the new title came the obligation to collect unnecessary information from all iPhone customers. Apparently this information is transmitted to the mother ship (AKA, Apple's Servers) via a harmless looking URL embedded in both the Stock and Weather applications on the iPhone.

Well, we did some thinking about this latest proof of government mind-control and came to the conclusion that people need to get new hobbies. Seriously. Is anyone stupid enough to be concerned about Apple computer knowing which stocks you're watching in the wimpy iPhone stock page? If you're into stocks at all, a dozen different websites (and your service provider) know everything about every stock you've ever researched. Old Stevie and his URLs are the last thing you need to worry about. The mere act of owning a cell phone (let alone a smart one) puts you so far 'on grid' that you'd need a space shuttle and the worlds largest set of wire cutters to get 'off grid.'

Let's put it this way. If you want or expect privacy, you shouldn't be using an iPhone or the Internet. If you're always on, you have to be connected... and if you're connected, you are not alone -- by definition.

Yes they're watching, but they've got better things to do than snoop around your crappy portfolio.

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